Earlier this week after a shower I looked at myself in the mirror and I knew, I just knew. So I said to myself (yes I am ‘guilty’ of talking to myself but at least this time I could see who I was talking to) “Do you feel the need in me?”
I’ve never felt this way before but I had a compelling urge for a ho. I’ve had these thoughts before but I’ve shown tremendous restraint and controlled them. But this time the need was too strong! I needed a ho that would do most of the work for me. I’m not getting any younger you know.
I think I could have fought the desire for a ho if it were not so easy to find one here on Ambergris Caye. But the establishments where they are available are so well known and the signage makes it obvious that you’ll find a ho inside them.
I decided that I would not tell Rose about my needs.- she might not understand and we might end up arguing about it. Sometimes in life you’ve just got to do what your body is telling you it needs.
So I filled my wallet with BZ$ 50 notes, surreptitiously left the house (OK, OK so it was sneakily) and headed south to where I was confident I’d find the ho that I was looking for. And needed so badly.
I hadn’t been driving for long when I saw what I was looking for
Not this one. I had something far more upmarket in mind!
So I drove a little further and there it was. A much cleaner looking building where I just knew I’d find the ho of my dreams.
I parked and locked the cart (you have to be careful outside such establishments so I’ve been told) and strode purposefully inside. I looked around for masculine assistance ((like you do when you go to a chemist (drug store for non UK readers) for that ‘little something for the weekend)) but saw females everywhere. Panic was about to set in when a deep, baritone voice said ” Can I help you sir?”.
I turned around to face the questioner and mustered up my most confident sounding voice. ” I’m looking for the most versatile and expensive ho you’ve got” I exclaimed.
He pointed to his left. ” Go try them out” he said. Barely containing my excitement I rushed over to them and after carefully inspecting each and very one of them I made my choice. This one was ‘made’ for me!
The ho of my dreams. Now isn’t ‘she’ a beauty. And only BZ$ 34.25.
Oh, I found ‘her’ here.
You didn’t think I was talking about another type of establishment did you?
So I’m now equipped to keep the weeds under control in our freshly cleaned garden . A garden that is still taking shape as you will see from the photos that follow.
Black dirt ready to fill one of the beds.
Plastic sheeting in place to keep the dirt in Lloyd and his son Anthony set to working
their way around the garden.
Waiting for the next delivery of black dirt to finish the south-East corner of the front garden.
And the road side of our front fence looks tidier too.
Just need some shrubs, trees and flowers now.
The headline for today’s edition is based on the single released in 1973 by the Detroit Emeralds which reached number four on the UK Singles Charts.
NB Please don’t write to tell me it’s spelt hoe. I know but …